Life is rough when you’re sick, especially when you’re constantly sick and some days you’re sicker than usual. I’ve been in bed most of the day the past few days and only today did I feel well enough to wash dishes. I have become well acquainted with miso soup and will have oriental flavored udon noodles in several days. I’m quite excited. I haven’t had udon in a while.
One thing that I haven’t done much of since I got sick is my reading. I am falling behind while I deal with my illness – I really hope I feel better soon as nausea and retching hurt – but I am slowly getting back into the groove. I think I’ve been rather depressed without reading as I’ve just laid in bed on my phone playing mobile games and browsing Reddit and Tumblr curled up because my abdomen feels like it got punched, repeatedly. I’m probably going to spend less time on Facebook. Toxicity on there can skyrocket (and often does) real quick.
Sometimes, it’s not worth even keeping around certain people if they continue to be toxic, especially when they know they’re being toxic and won’t stop. If I’m like that, well, let me know. Let me try to change for the better. If I succeed, that’s awesome. But sometimes even when you succeed in improving yourself, those same people demand more and more becoming inappropriate that they’ve turned into the toxic ones because they insist on keeping you in the inferiority category so they can retain their superiority. Pride is a sin for many, and people don’t like looking at themselves when it means that they will lose their ‘superior’ position among their social groups by admitting to being wrong. I once got into an argument with someone with someone who knew nothing about the subject and offered his opinion anyway because he had read the headlines of what I posted on social media. I had been looking at a recently passed law that was repealing a former law. I did the research, knew the history behind the original law and what it’s meant to do and what’s going to happen now that they seek to fully repeal it, and he did none of that. He didn’t research so he knew nothing about the law that was being repealed, told me I was wrong anyway, and then didn’t bother to tell me what was even being repealed even after I asked to check his understanding. So he just continue to tell me that what was in the law wasn’t being repealed while the law had already been repealed and passed through the state congress. I could cry. How can he know what’s going on if he refuses to do his research? I bothered to do the research, but he didn’t, and yet he kept insisting that he was right and I was wrong. In retrospect, he does often act like I’m wrong, and that he’s right even when he knows nothing on the subject. I’m not quite sure why that is. It’s not just a difference of opinion; he refuses to look at facts when it comes to me and just proclaims me as wrong what seems to be every single time. I shake my head at how people will argue for the sake of arguing, and then go away thinking that they were justified and right. They cling to falsehoods and idols. Then they go onto teaching others these terrible habits and others suffer because of these people’s delusions of grandeur and continue to teach people to have an opinion on everything even when you know absolutely nothing about what you’re talking about.
But even with all that, I also take the time to focus on my loved ones and rejuvenate in the presence of others who aren’t sheep and are willing to engage thoughtfully and intellectually that’s not just them spewing out things that they don’t know what they’re even talking about. They still research things especially when there’s no clear answer they can satisfactorily give because the truth is important. I am blessed to have such people in my life that it helps to outshine the toxicity that often threatens.