Some Thoughts of Living with Chronic Pain + Andrew Lang’s Myth, Ritual, and Religion


How do you live and cope with chronic pain and illness?

I haven’t quite figured it out myself yet what that question exactly means to me and exactly how I do it beyond taking things one day, one thing at a time because who knows how I’d be feeling later in the day compared to how I feel in the morning. Some days I can walk fine at one point of the day and then be unable to walk at another part of the day. Sometimes the weather affects my illnesses and makes them worse. Coping well is hard for me at times because there are many times that I want to give up. I end up praying a lot, if only to find time to ease my mind which tends to happen as it gives me something else else to focus so in the meantime I calm down enough to look at the situation after a little more time has passed and go back to resolve it if it means that much to me.

Being constantly ill as a child to now as an adult in my 20s, life has been wild in regards to how much I feel like I’m lacking compared to everyone else. Chronic pain has stolen a large swathe of my life and will continue to do so. Most days I’m lying in bed. Rarely do I leave my home; I leave once on average, or twice if I’m feeling really good, per week. I don’t have the energy nor the tolerance to be somewhere not comfortable while my body goes through enough pain that I want to go hide in a corner and bawl my eyes out. Most of my attention throughout the day is focused on my pain, focused on making me comfortable with the limited movements that I can do that won’t send pain ramming into me. I’ll be going in for another review of myself at the doctor’s next month, so at least there’s that.

In the meantime, I try my best to focus on my hobbies and doing household chores that I’m able to do on my own. I’m so blessed to have him in my life – someone who loves and supports me despite my general craziness and how ill I can get. Through thick and thin, I know I can trust him. For my hobbies, I feel like I need to create a more structured environment, but I find it incredibly difficult to do things when I feel unwell – pressured or not. I do have many moments where I can suddenly study with deep concentration for a few hours (and by few, I mean 2-3) on end, but that’s only a few times a week, and I’d like to extend that to at least four to five times a week on top of doing my chores.

I’m not quite sure how I feel about Andrew Lang’s Myth, Ritual, and Religion. A good portion that I read so far (I’m 25% into the first volume) strikes me as “meh”. I’d rate it at a 2/5 so far. Lang goes on to making sure the reader understands what a civilized person believes in regards to myth as compared to a savage. The terms civil and savage doesn’t work for me, personally, but Lang is explicit so that makes it easy to understand what he means by those terms. Perhaps I’m misunderstanding or looking too much into it, but Lang seems to just radiate white superiority when he writes about savages sometimes, or at the very least, he uses examples of such stereotypes as to show white superiority while just about what seemed to me dissing of every other culture because people saw just as much value in other things as humans, which was one of the reasons of what made a person savage. Like I said, perhaps it’s just me misunderstanding the him and he didn’t mean to come across like that, but he does to me. The book has turned into a bit of a slog for me, but I feel that I should try to finish the first volume at the very least.


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